Have you ever physically done something that you thought your body was completely incapable of doing?
I have - both at the beach last weekend and then again today during my morning walk. This thing felt oddly pleasing, yet left me quite breathless.
No, my dear friends, this thing does not involve a page of the Kama Sutra, so you can remove your minds from the dirty gutters in which they reside. This activity, in fact, has nothing to do with getting it on.....but more to do with getting it off.
The weight, that is.
So.... after all this hemming and hawing, what did I do that's so amazing, you ask? Well, I'll tell you. (drumroll please....)
I ran. That's right......R-A-N. Ran.
While this may not seem like such a big deal to most people, it's HUGE for me because of one simple reason: I never thought I could do it.
Fat people don't run. It's just a fact. And at 206.6 lbs, let's face it - I am still fat. It's OK to say it. I'm not in denial - there is still a long, long way to go.....
Make no mistake - I didn't run very far. And it not only sucked the wind right out of me but it also just plain old sucked. And I probably looked like a whale hopping on dry land while doing it, but the reality is, I put this chubby little body into jogging gear and I did it!
What is truly inspiring is that this spurn of new activity comes on the tail end of a pretty shitty week for me. It's the last week of the semester and I had a few major projects due and a test to study for that had me hitting the peanut butter jar pretty hard. (Jif is the new Grey Goose, no????). And I am PMSing. Hard.
Despite having these things to fall back on and excuse any bad behavior, I'll admit I went a little overboard. Sadly, I am paying the most valuable price, which is the slowing down of my weight loss. You see, it wasn't just the peanut butter. On top of that, I may as well confess that I threw more than a few chocolate chips on top of those heaping spoonfulls of creamy Jif, and in doing so, literally had to cover my mouth to stifle squealing with orgasmic delight as the chocolate and peanut butter flavors collided with each other on my tongue, and then continued to party like it was 1999, right there on my taste buds! Hell yes, it was that good. And let's face it, I have been missing chocolate like nobody's business and the anticipated arrival of Aunt Flo made me feel like I needed a fix.
Oh, but the shame.
I certainly couldn't let Josh (aka, the Diet Nazi) know I was shoving my mouth full of Jimmy Carter's finest and Nestle morsels because seriously, the guy hasn't eaten one bad thing since February 20. It makes me both extremely proud of him yet pisses me off at the same time. I truly admire his steel force willpower but it has caused me to be disappointed in myself because, my stinking willpower? Has apparently taken a freaking holiday.
Can I blame it on my hormones, at least? The way I felt this past week it's a wonder I didn't completely nose dive right off the wagon. I was one PMS episode away from ordering up a large pepperoni and sausage pizza and washing it down with a pitcher of margaritas, but thankfully I think I have reached a place in this lifestyle change that has caused me to cheat in much smaller ways. The scarfing down of the peanut butter and chocolate wasn't great, but it wasn't as evil as say, devouring an entire pizza. And the caloric content of just one margarita alone? It's like a full meal in a glass, so I know to stay away from those. Hey - I'll consider that progress.
So back to the running issue. This is actually something I have been toying with in my head for years now - ever since I heard about the Cool Running website ( http://www.coolrunning.com/index.shtml ) and their Couch to 5K running program, I have had visions of myself (100 lbs thinner, of course) running in a cute matching set sports bra and tight shorts along a beach somewhere. So many ex-fatties-turn-runners give major props to Cool Running and credit their Couch to 5K program with getting them in shape. I can't tell you how many times I have visited this site. I have probably single handedly contributed to acres of rain forest being lost due to my constant printing out of the steps to the program. And yet, I never got off my fat ass to do it. Sorry trees.
In my defense, those other times were during my former life as a commuter and so the reality of me running was only going to happen if I tethered myself to the side of the Beiber bus and ran alongside of it on Route 78 each morning and evening. I barely saw daylight hours as it was, and on the weekends when exercise could have been in the cards, I was too busy catching up on laundry and getting my drink on. Hello? Priorities, people!
But times are much different now, and even with the stress of school and the time that it takes to do my work, along with planning the wedding, I do indeed have time to exercise. When lack of time was a factor, I found it was very easy to excuse away my fat and pretend that it wasn't my fault. Now? With blood results showing no insulin resistance problem and no job to suck every last minute of my day away from me, what do I have left to hide behind? Nothing, that's what. Not a freaking thing. Sucks to be me.
Or does it?
But again, I digress.....back to jogging and why one day, I will be in that sports bra and short set, dammit!
I made the mistake of mentioning in passing the Couch to 5K program to Josh. I have been with the man over 2 years now so I should know better than to say something and not expect him to jump on it full force. In his mind, by me mentioning the Couch to 5K program, that meant I was actually going to get my ass off the couch and attempt to run a 5K. If 5K stood for 5 Kit Kats and the goal was to get off the couch and eat them, I'd have no problem meeting that goal. However running 3.1 miles was another story.
In my mind, I was just going to think about the program a little while longer and maybe talk about it some more, and then, in the end, probably never really do it. This is not the way Josh functions.
No - instead Josh started running. And not bullshit runs, like the one I did today - these are real, honest to goodness runs. Over the course of 3 weeks he has built up to running 4 miles (no breaks!) and has signed up for his first 5K next weekend in Bethany Beach. Um - shit????!!!!!
He even bought the Nike sneakers that sync up with his iPhone and has software to track his progress and speed and distance and all of that runner-y stuff I am not cool enough to talk about yet. In other words, he is making me look like total lazy fat ass. His near 60 lb loss is making my 19.4 lbs loss look downright pathetic. In the last week, he has dropped about 7 lbs. Yeah - I said 7.
I'm not saying running is a magic weight loss pill, but fuck me if he didn't drop the last 12 or so pounds in what seemed like the blink of an eye. I want that. My green eyed monster is starting to emerge. And that bitch wants to run.
Which brings me to today. We walk around the town square in the morning, doing anywhere from 8-12 laps. The square itself is roughly 1/3 mile per 1 lap. I have decided to start slow and build myself up to a more gradual increase. I know my body well enough to realize I do not have Josh's Bionic Man type stamina. I walked 3 of the 4 sides and ran the 4th side of the square. I first fully walked 2 laps entirely to warm up and then the last 6 laps, did the 3 side walk, 1 side run rotation. I will do this for a week then try walking 1 side, running 1 side for 8 laps and work my way up from there.
Now... if only I could figure out what to do with my boobs?
Beacause running with Double D's? Not so much fun. Unless of course, you are the perverted guy standing on the corner watching me. I imagine it's a little like Baywatch, but Belvidere-style. And you know what? It ain't pretty.
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