Should old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind? Should old acquaintance be forgot and days of auld lange syne?
Seriously - what the hell does that song mean anyway?
If those old acquaintances should happen to refer to sugar, fat and flour and the ingredients of all of my favorite but unhealthy foods, then yes, indeed, they should be forgotten. And those days of auld lange syne? If they should happen to refer to the gluttonous feeding frenzies and alcohol indulgences of the past decade then, yes, they too should be kicked to the curb and the old memory bank cleared of them - permanently.
It's not only a new year, but it's also a new decade and the health kick promises of yore still ring as loudly in my ears as the clinking of champagne glasses from this past New Year's Eve....
Those last year resolutions, now embarrassingly referred to as my list of empty promises, have a way of making me feel like a failure - and for good reason.....
My Lord, what have I done to myself this past year?
All I can do is point to the above photograph and gasp in horror as I search in vain to find the place where my neck once resided.....
As one can easily see, it appears to have gone missing. I swear to God I used to have one.
It's no wonder why, so I won't bore you with the gory (albeit delicious) details. What I will say is this....only linebackers should be sporting the no neck look - not little 'ole 5' me.
That picture is about as fat and fugly as I ever want to be captured in any digital capacity and I am so deeply disturbed by it and the triple chins it so grandly exposes that today is THE DAY I wholeheartedly vow to myself and the world to make them go away, and in turn, see if I can coax my neck back to it's rightful place (below just ONE chin, thanks).
The weight today after 2 cups of coffee, a lame attempt at a dump and several pees, is a very troubling 228.6.....
The holidaze chewed me up and spit me out like a bad fruit cake, and now it's time to repair the damage - and then some. So, being the new decade and all, I did dedicate some brain power to thinking seriously about some resolutions that I believe are both reasonable as well as doable....
Let's face it kids, with just about 39 weeks to the wedding, I can't afford to be in denial any longer. And with that triple chinned stranger staring back at me in that New Year's Eve photo, I realize losing myself this deeply is both a crying ass shame AND a huge problem - and as we all know - only I can fix it.
So, welcome 2010 - the year of my wedding!!!!!!! I have a feeling you and I are going to end up liking each other alot. My goals for this year are:
- Lose 39 lbs before the wedding = 1 lb per week
- Stay away from all fried foods
- Limit refined carbs to twice a week - focus on lean meats, fruits and veggies
- No alcohol until March 17
- Exercise daily - even if it's only 10 minutes
- Strength train at least 3 times a week
- Find job
- Get large details finalized for wedding before school starts
- Learn to say NO more often
- Write regularly in blog
- Be happy with where I am in the moment
- Always remember my goals and reward each one met with some non-food pampering
Not insurmountable, right?
I know the writing is on the wall and the time to start is NOW - after all I ordered my dress one size smaller than recommended, so this is serious. I had to sign off on it to remove any responsibility or blame from the dress not fitting on the retailer. Time to prove I'm not insane. It's do or die and I KNOW I can do this.....
If I am sure of anything, it is that there is no way in living hell that my wedding photos are going to feature multiple chins, ham hock arms and my dress exploding in the back....I refuse to be that bride.
Now if you'll excuse me, I believe I have a date with my elliptical trainer.
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