Back from the brink...

So yesterday's post was pretty freaking depressing, wasn't it?
I can't really apologize for it because it was how I was feeling at the time. Fatville is an odd place to live, and if you've never resided here, it might be hard for somebody to understand the huge swing in emotions that can occur from day to day....Sometimes I can deal with "being here" but for the most part I can't, and my blog posts reflect that. I sort of think of it as being stuck in a lease on a living space (my body) that I can't immediately get out of....but I do know that eventually that lease will be up and I can move on.
Yesterday it felt like I just told the landlord I am on my way out.....so now all I need to do is ride this lease out until I am free. It sounds kind of weird but hey, this is how my brain works. I am the queen of analogies!
I finally figured out how to post my weight stats (so much easier than I thought - duh!) so I will have a running tally going forward. Mostly likely I will do this on a weekly basis - or at least that's what I tell myself now. But I may do it more frequently, just to keep me accountable. I posted my weight again today because I was happy that I dropped 1 1/4 lbs since yesterday. 235 was SUCH an ugly number, I about cried. But it did force me to re-evaluate what the hell I was doing and I feel much better about the direction I am heading in today.
I have also been thinking (once again) about changing the name of the blog, or basically starting a brand new blog for this NEW commitment to weight loss.....I sort of hate to do it since this blog has my long history of trying to lose weight on it. But in a way, the blog title no longer pertains to my situation since I have gotten married and am in a new phase of life and maybe I need to start fresh.....(plus it reminds me that my journey from fat to fabulous before my big wedding day? Uh, it didn't exactly go down quite as planned....). Any thoughts from the peanut gallery on this one?
I'll mull it over a little while longer I guess unless someone wants to "weigh in" on what they think I should do...
Anyway, that's really all I have for now. Just wanted to confirm that I have not stuck my head in the gas oven or slept in my car with the motor running and garage door closed. These would be impossibilities for two reasons.   First of all, we don't have a gas oven or a garage, and second, I really do love life more than anything and would never even consider such a horrendous act against myself. I just want to feel good about myself again. I just want to feel normal for a change. Is that so wrong?