I can safely say, this is accurate on both accounts. Once again I am letting the stresses of life take their toll. And by stresses, I mean summer school, particularly. I'm taking two classes this summer - one that is especially daunting because it's math. Math and I don't get along. Learning alegbra and learning Chinese are one in the same to me. Both immensely difficult, and both seemingly impossible. However, learning Chinese would probably benefit me more in my elementary teaching career than algebra ever will. And yet each Monday, Tuesday and Thursday evenings from 6:00 -8:05 from May 19 - June 30, suffering through college algebra is my life.....
I shouldn't be complaining. I don't work and going to school has been my only real "job" since early 2009. Even still, I bitch about this class because by far it has been the hardest class I have had to date. The only one where I can say - I really don't get it....and that is a personal failure to me on some level (even though the final grade doesn't even count towards my graduate GPA because it is a pre-req class - I just need to pass).
I received the first B of my graduate school career last week on a test I took in algebra. Albeit, I received a 91%, but I am so much harder on myself this go-around with school than I ever was during my booze soaked days during my undergrad years.
Ah, maturity!
What I want to know is how I can be so hard on myself about my grades but not about my eating or exercise habits? What gives? I know I can be a hard ass about things - but for whatever reason, sticking to a diet plan isn't one of them. And although the math that proves diet + exercise = weight-loss is much easier to understand than my current algebra homework, I'm still not computing that either. (Sigh).
It's officially summer (as far as I'm concerned) and my recent trip the beach recently had me reeling because my body is, well, obviously less than ready for it. There are no big surprises here. After all, I have done nothing to prepare myself for bathing suit season. Fritos do not a beach body make, if ya know what I mean. A beached body, perhaps. But not a beach-body. As in beach-ready. I am not, in fact, ready for any kind of thigh or upper arm baring, yet the weather report tells me that Mother nature is indeed ready, so I best just put on my big-girl pants (and they are freaking BIG these days) and deal with it.
So, here it is.... another summer has arrived with a closet full of clothes that doesn't fit and I'm sitting here on my ass, ignoring the only solution to fix it.
I'm so tired of making excuses that I won't even go there today. I just can't.
I need to save whatever brain power I have left for that damn math class.
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