Gluteus MAXIMUS indeed!

Did you know that your ass is the largest muscle in the body? 

If you don't believe me, go ahead and Google it - or better yet - go and do the wedding workout DVD I did yesterday and you will arrive at the easy conclusion that the large body part that is throbbing and sore and following you everywhere you go is in fact your ass muscle and Christ Almighty you had no idea it covered this much of your body because, right now?  A whole hell of a lot of you hurts. That muscle is massive.

By the way, my thighs are not feeling the best they ever have either.....Holy Hamstrings!

Suffice it to say those Rodale peeps know what they're doing. If their main mission is to shed the ass and thigh fat of brides 'round the globe, I think they have the formula down pat...

Ouch.

While I may be in a bit of pain, I'm not totally incapacitated so I won't let the fact that every time I try to sit down it feels like my thigh muscles are ripping apart deter me from exercising today. I'm not saying I am going to do that video again today (because despite what people say about me, I am not insane). I do think my lower body needs to recover from yesterday's abuse, but I can still take a walk (even if I hobble) and tackle the upper body portion of the DVD today.....

Just don't expect an entry tomorrow since I am sure my arms will feel like lead balloons, rendering any typing ability I currently have to be useless. At least for 24 hours.

My hope is that by getting into an exercise habit that is varied and interesting (and that I can feel is working) will trigger healthier eating because I won't lie.....I continue (OBVIOUSLY) to struggle there. Badly.

I had a conversation with my friend Melissa the other day and we were talking about weight loss and the whole enigma surrounding why it's so hard to do this??? After all, we know what the downside of being overweight is and we both want to shed the poundage but something is preventing it from happening (I mean something other than the peanut M & M's I had before class last night). I'm talking about the mental click that needs to happen.

For whatever reason, I honestly do not think that "click" has happened to me yet and I cannot for the life of me figure out why?

There's a whole schpiel I could go into about body acceptance and yadda, yadda, yadda but I don't buy into it. I know there are women out there who are large and in charge and are genuinely ok with that. I just don't think I am one of them because I do have the desire to be thinner, I just don't know if I have the desire to get thinner.....and that is a huge problem.

Getting thinner takes a lot of hard work.

When I hurdle baby goals such as being in Target last night and picking up about 7 different bags of Halloween candy as I shopped but then putting them all back, I think to myself that I know I CAN do this and I DO have the willpower to say no to bad things. At times. Again, let's revisit the peanut M & M's I ate before class. They were a quick fix, tasted good but where did they get me?

There are many times when I don't say no when I know I should and those times seem to outweigh (by about 223.2 lbs) the good choices I make. I desperately need to reverse that behavior, but it's really fucking hard! 

Sheryl has been pushing the Weight Watchers thing on me lately (so much so that I secretly think she must be moonlighting for them) but it's 40 bucks a month and that's a lot for someone who is unemployed and planning a wedding. With every payment of WW dues I would be mentally racking up other things I could be doing with that money - so no, I don't think WW is the answer for me. At least not right now. Besides I have been there so many times and have all the tools at my finger tips that if I really wanted to do WW, I could follow it right here at home. 

I know that diet and exercise is really the only way this ass 'o' mine is going to shrink. It's not what I want to hear but I know it to be true and whether or not I choose to ignore it, that's the fact. I can't change it. I can bitch about it and complain and pretend God is playing a cruel joke on me, but I know the truth.....

Fat won't leave on it's own. You have to kick it out and fight with it until it gives up and goes away. It's a fight but I have no doubt that it's well worth it in the end.

I've decided I'm going wedding dress shopping the beginning of October (about 2 months ahead of my pre-planned schedule). I figure both the arrival of the one year mark as well as facing the Great White head on will maybe be the catalyst I have been searching for....

Only one way to find out.....