If I had to sum up my wedding dress shopping experience in one word, I would have to say, "Surprising" fits it best.
Unbelievably, (and thankfully) it was not the horrendous train wreck I had previously imagined it would be.....
As a matter of fact, I had drummed up such a horrific scene in my head of being presented with a multitude of dresses I could only squeeze one of my ample thighs into, that my stomach was doing mini flip flops as I walked into that first store - Alfred Angleo.
I now realize that dread may have stemmed more from what I experienced on the outside of the store, more than anything that was to greet me inside.
Allow mw to ask you this simple question: Have you ever wanted to beat the royal shit out of someone based on a simple comment you overheard them utter?
I sure have.....and I nearly did this past Saturday - even before I laid my eyes on a single shred of tulle, lace or shiny satin.
You see, while I was standing outside in the freezing cold and rain, waiting for the store to open , an extremely boisterous, animated, and not to mention rail thin (and in my mimd desperate need of a cookie) group of women arrived and had to wait outside with me. The bride looked all of 20 years old if that (I was looking for a baby bump but could not detect one....which left me wondering why the hell anyone would want to get married so young??) and as the group peered into the front store window to get a peek at what was offered inside, I couldn't help but over hear the mother 'o' the bride commenting on two of the dresses that happened to be featured on plus sized mannequins.
Her gasp over how BIG the dress was ("Wow - that's a big mama dress" was her exact quote) and her comment about how the plus sized bridesmaid dress looked like a "big" maternity dress had me seeing red in less than 2 seconds flat. She must have used the word "big" 20 times, if she said it once. I was infuriated.
This woman is very lucky I didn't sit my "Big Mama" ass right on her.
It's amazing to me that I stood not 3 feet away from this woman with my obvious plus sized figure and still, she went off on a tangent about how bad these dresses looked - how BIG they looked.
Well fuck you too, you flat chested insensitive toothpick.
Whew...ok - now that I got that off my (anything but flat) chest.......
Anyway - thankfully these close minded food-deprived trolls were no where near me as I tried on my dresses - or I'm pretty sure a bridal boxing match may have ensued. Or perhaps they were nearby but I was in my own sort of la la land once I started trying on dress after dress that actually could close in the back and in some cases were even too big (what a feeling!). Granted, they may have been a size 22 but it's always nice to hear someone tell you something is way too big on you.....
Hoorah!
Overall, I have to say it was a bit of a surreal experience since I realized that I have never quite envisioned myself in a wedding dress. As I stared back at this person in the mirror with white fabric swirling around her, I felt like I was watching someone else......
Because this person, even though she was overweight, looked absolutely radiant in that dress.
I only went to two bridal shops on Saturday and at the second store I think I may have actually found "the one." It sounds so - I don't know - Cliche??? Or maybe Gay????? (Really - I can't believe I actually cried a little). I don't mean I was weeping oceans of tears but I never believed all the hype and BS about crying over a dress and "knowing" when you find that right one....however, I hate to admit that all that sappy crap may actually be true!
I think Val, out of any one I know, will love the fact I am admitting this....she is the one friend I have that truly believes in all things romance and fairytale-esque. Normally I gag at this sort of thing and she knows it, although she accuses me of being much more of a softie than I care to admit...
But this time, as much as it kills me, I may have to agree with her. This dress I found may be truly "magical." I LOVE it!!!!
I loved it so much I had to find out how many sizes they could go down since losing weight has now skyrocketed to the tippy top of my to-do list (not that it wasn't sort of there before but freaking-A, this is serious!) and I think I will be placing my order by the beginning of January to ensure I have a solid 9 months for delivery and alterations.
So from now until then, I will be praying vehemently to the fat gods to help me shed this weight by keeping me far away from the Trick or Treat candy that's hiding in the big plastic cauldron downstairs and to get me through Thanksgiving and Christmas without becoming a stuffed turkey or Santa Claus look-a-like.
Now more than ever, I need to STAY ON TRACK. I know this year is going to fly by....I can't believe the end of October is already fast approaching.
With only 353 days left to "git 'er done"......I need to fire up that metabolism and let the fat games begin!
No comments:
Post a Comment