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Monday, October 5, 2009

Change is in the air!


A new week has begun!
It's a cool crisp Monday morning and I feel surprisingly rested and motivated to start the day and tackle the gagillion things I have on my to do list.
Maybe it's the start of a new season that has me so jazzed....I love the fall almost as much as I love the summer but in addition to cooler temperatures, nights by the fire pit and leaves cascading from the sky, there is, too, the temptation for comfort foods to become a part of the weekly dinner fare and that is the one reason to fear fall as much as I embrace it.
This fall however, I am forced to make some changes in my behavior that have been traditionally exercised as a welcome to autumn....
No more drinking vats of Octoberfest Ale, or making a pumpkin roll to have as a "just because" dessert. No warm loaves of bread to accompany a hot spicy bowl of steaming chili.....
These are things of the past.....at least for now.
This past Friday I had a visit to the nutritionist that my FMIL recommended. She was extremely expensive and by the end of the session didn't really tell me all that much that I didn't already know in terms of nutritional information. But she did provide me with a few key tidbits that have made me realize that this battle with weight loss can be won. 
Today I am a newly determined warrior ready to beat the ever loving crap out of my fat cells.....
Prepare to die (or at least shrink) you assholes.
Friday's appointment revealed some good and some bad things about my body. I was given a print out of my body mass test and I can assure you it wasn't the best news I have ever been given - but it also wasn't the worst.
In terms of good news, what I learned on Friday was that I have a surprisingly decent resting metabolism, meaning I can no longer blame my bulk on a sluggish calorie burn (damn). 
I also learned that despite my Stay Puff Marshmallow exterior, underneath it all, I am still a brick shit house as my mother calls me - meaning I have relatively decent lean muscle mass. As a matter of fact - my lean muscle mass numbers are smack dab in the middle of where they should be, so at least I am not all squishy fat with zero muscle tone underneath. The problem is, it needs to be excavated which is where I step in.
The bad news is that at 5'0", I am 52% fat with a BMI of 44 and that is horrendous. The morbid obesity diagnosis doesn't surprise me one bit, but to see it all printed out and handed to you by a woman with a 2" gap between her legs who has probably never experienced thigh rub in her life was, well, a bit embarrassing.
So I need to get down to 204 lbs before I am out of that "morbid" range which leaves me with just under 20 lbs to whittle down before I get there.
The nutritionist's scale had me at 225 on Friday afternoon and my scale says I am down to 222.3 this AM so that's a positive sign.
Diet wise, the news is grim. I have been put on a grain-free diet (the same one my FMIL was put on).....so the bread, pasta, flour, rice and all that carb-laden grainy goodness I love with a passion has been kicked to the curb until we find out if I actually have an insulin resistance.
She didn't specify sugar but by cutting out so much of that other bad stuff, it automatically gets significantly reduced. But until they tell me I have to give up my Edies Fruit Bars, I'm sticking with them as my dessert of choice. 80 calories and fabulous!
That doesn't mean I am going to eat shit like candy corn 'til the cows come home - I promise that I will choose my sugars wisely......
In addition to all of this nutritionist stuff, I am being given a battery of blood tests that will reveal a whole lot more and will determine what the actual doctor is going to tell me when I meet with him Nov 16. This is where it could get interesting.
I'm not hoping for anything bad but I AM curious what the blood tests will reveal, if anything.
Wouldn't it be a kick in the pants if absolutely NOTHING was wrong and it turns out I am just a big lazy fat ass?
I am not ruling this diagnosis out, you know.....
Whatever the case may be, the short of it is that meeting with the nutritionist gave me a new perspective on my situation, allowing me get some base line info so that I am able to refocus my efforts and get back on track....because we all know it's been a while.
The restrictive diet, while not my favorite, is a necessary evil. I'm happy I was put on it because it really makes me focus on what I put in my mouth as opposed to just shoving anything in that was within my grasp. Josh and I even went to Sonic over the weekend and I had a salad. Trust me when I say that prior to Friday, that shit would have NEVER happened!
But I am OK with all of it - the diet, the need to exercise, the change of season, and really, the change of life (and life-style).
The wedding is exactly one year and 4 days away......what better time to reveal the new me?







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