Stressfest

Holy God, I have not been this tired in I can't remember how long. I'm sure this exhaustion I am feeling doesn't begin to compare with what I experienced back in the days when I had my job and was commuting 5 hours a day but those memories seem so distant now. It's a little strange. I suppose it's all relative. I guess I am not used to having to put some much of myself into things like school work. It has been a very long time indeed, since I have had to stay up past midnight to work on a school project. Like over 15 years.

I can't believe it's been 11 days since I've posted to the blog. It seems like an eternity and I kind of missed it. This has sort of become my sounding board and has really proven to be quite therapeutic, especially when I go back to read old posts. I realized that although this whole weight loss thing is still moving along like molasses in January, I am doing it! So now that I am in the home stretch with school, I hope to be getting back to more regular posts. I am sure you are all relieved. LOL.

It's not that I haven't been spending more than enough quality time with my new lap top. We are quite intimate these days and I think it's safe to say it's been felt up a whole up more than poor J has these past 2 weeks. School has officially kicked my ass in every way imaginable and I don't know if I should be horribly embarrassed or not since it was only one stinking class! In my defense it was a class on Educational Planing and I had to create 5 lesson plans and an entire unit plan in addition to reading on average 75 pages of textbook garble for every class, do a research paper, give a class presentation and make a bulletin board. The fact that I am coming from a completely different field was the real challenge but I guess I shouldn't complain because I sure as hell got my money's worth out of this class. And it's not over yet! I have 2 more classes to go and still need to tackle that damn bulletin board, which is due on Monday and give my presentation on Wednesday.

And then, my friends I will get drunk.

Actually, I may have to postpone my drinking festivities until after I get to the beach since we leave for vacation on Thurs night and I have a pile of laundry the size of Mt. Everest that needs some attention since unfortunately we are not vacationing at a nudist camp.

I wish I was feeling a little better about turning in that massive unit plan project yesterday but I am still feeling anxious. Maybe it's because I know I still have other things to do, even outside of school (although I still need to register for fall classes). I have a list of stuff a mile long that I need to do here at the house, which I have seriously neglected over the last few weeks.

Cleaning like a 50's housewife has never been my thing so you can imagine how much I am looking forward to vacuuming and dusting when all I want to be doing is sitting my ass poolside. Preferably with a martini in hand.

Ah, and speaking of ass, I guess I shouldn't delay the inevitable conversation about my last weigh in which was enough to cause a mini meltdown. But then again, there's nothing like a healthy dose of "holy shit" to get you back on track so I have been watching myself somewhat more carefully, and have made it a point this past week or so to be too busy to think about food. Being immersed in my school work has actually helped me in that area. Do you know how hard it is to eat and type at the same time?

As if school wasn't enough to put my stress threshold to the test, our family experienced two losses this week with my aunt's passing on Friday and then my second cousin on Sunday. I am surprised that with everything that was going on, I didn't hold up a bakery, but amazingly, I didn't. Although I did plow my way through about half a dozen (or more) bad food options at the luncheon after my aunts funeral, it ended up being the only meal I ate that day (thank you, schoolwork) so I decided not to get too neurotic over it. But I will admit that between the sandwich, potato salad and macaroni salad, I probably ate enough mayo to make Paula Dean squeal with delight. That woman loves her some fattening mayo, y'all.

Anyway, despite it being one of the toughest weeks I've had since May 18, I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and sand, sun, and surf is looming in the near distance. I can smell the Coppertone already. 

And because it has been so long since I have posted I decided to weigh myself today as opposed to waiting until tomorrow. Let's face it, curiosity killed the fat cat.

So, today I am happy to report I am down to 221.4 lbs. Stress and mayo did not do the damage that they could have potentially done so I am feeling pretty happy this morning. That's right, I said HAPPY.

It's funny, but when I look at this number, I can't help but think this used to be my highest weight (right around the time I turned 30) and I remember thinking back then that I would never let myself get any higher that that. Oh, but I lied!

So, I'll say it again. Never ever ever will I let myself see this number again. Once it's gone, it's gone and unless it's 221.4  million dollars that I am winning in a lottery, I am kissing this number good bye. For good.

The thing that pisses me off the most is I have less than a half pound separating me and a visit to the nail joint in town to get my long awaited pedicure.

Fingers (and toes) crossed, by the weekend, I am hoping to be able to work on dropping that little bit of stubborn poundage so I don't have to be embarrassed by my unsightly feet any longer. I supposed I could have done my own nails but I think after all of this school stuff I deserve to be pampered a little bit, don't you?

I also need a haircut and color and I considered having that be my "treat" at my 20 lb loss but honestly, I can't wait that long! 

Well, that's about it for today. I have to get to work on my bulletin board project now (I am sewing stuffed animals if you can believe it) so as they say, no rest for the wicked.

Stay tuned for more regular updates as I continue to fight my battle of the bulge.