Damn you, Val.
You and your gutter talk about about those nasty sausage, egg and cheese McMuffins......it's all I can think about since our conversation yesterday.
So much so apparently, that while in Skoogy's deli this morning getting creamer for my coffee, I actually purchased one of their own home made sausage egg and cheese sandwiches because the smell alone was making me turn into a ravenous animal and I was starting to drool on the deli counter. I am shamefully eating it, accompanied by my steaming cup of coffee at this very moment and in about 10 minutes I will have to excuse myself from this computer and go explode somewhere.
Note to self: Stay far the hell away from Skoogy's during breakfast hours.... Or any hour for that matter.
While I know my dear friend Val's vile hatred of sausage ultimately outweighed her guilt of throwing away money (which is why after a few bites, she brazenly scrapped the sandwich in the trash), I did not share those same calm, cool, reasoning skills this morning...
After all, I don't hate sausage the way Val does. I LOVE it.....tubed, pattied, linked, molded into animal shapes??? ....it's aaaaaalllll gooooooood to me.
When you really love something, I think it's easy to let those reasoning skills simply fly out the window sometimes. After all I could have easily just grabbed the creamer, made a quick payment at the cashier and bolted from the deli. But the damn sandwiches are located right IN FRONT of the cashier. And I lingered. And I could practically taste them, so farm fresh that the smell not only entered but clung on and lingered in my inside my nostrils, daring me to try to ignore that delicious breakfasty aroma. I stood there helpless, counting my coins until I could no longer bear the sensual attack of sausage fumes that had by this time completely enveloped me and before I could talk myself down off the ledge, with lightening speed, I grabbed one from under the heat lamp and asked the cashier to add it to my bill.
Val, feel free to go barf now if you need to.
Ahhhhh it was tasty ....but Uuuuuugh, am I feeling nasty (and seriously guilty as all hell) already. Not only will the grease in that bad boy undoubtedly cause an intestinal landslide, but remember those unfortunate cankles I was sporting a few days back? My money's on them making a reappearance after eating this little sodium party patty. Fo sho!
What's more is now that I just blew half my calorie load for the day, I have to mentally prepare myself for a steady diet of bugs and grass until bedtime tonight.
And this story here, kids, is why eating a healthy breakfast is always a good idea.....
I don't want to make excuses but it has been a stressful beginning of the week. This entire weekend, (starting pretty much on Thursday when I observed my friend's special ed class all day), was dedicated to school work and the only sunshine I saw was for a very brief flash of about 45 minutes, when I took a short bike ride on Sunday to clear my head. I'm only taking one class but it's pretty intense since the course work normally taught over a 4 month time period is being taught in a month and a half.
(Speaking of period, I have mine now come to think of it, so I am feeling slightly less guilty about that sausage sandwich.....Aunt Edna has been known to make me do far more evil things than succumb to eating pig meat sandwiches.)
Anyway, stress is never a good thing and when you are trying to diet it can be a downright saboteur. After an unofficial Monday morning weigh in, I was actually down to 225 lbs yesterday so I didn't really shoot myself in the foot until this morning. I probably won't go near again a scale until Friday and hopefully this one little slip up will be only just that and not effect the outcome on Weigh Day.
Have I mentioned that J is doing fabulously in his weight loss efforts? I know he's a man and they lose it quicker but damn! I'd give my eye teeth for one ounce of his will power.....I bet he would've said no to Skoogy's succulent sausage.
Beyond that, I keep telling myself that losing 6 lbs this past month is a job well done and that as long as I keep that pace up, I will be 70 lbs down for the wedding. I can do that....I must do that... I WILL do that. Nice, small, easy, attainable goals.....it's easier than looking at the big number and thinking Holy Shit, I'll never be able to lose that much weight!
Of course if I lose more than 70 lbs before I get married, I won't complain. I'm really excited for July and August because I will be out of school and have 2 months to really focus on me and working out which will be key to this process. I hope to get a lot of wedding planning done in those 2 months and I am also setting the goal for being another 6 lbs thinner by the end of June and then lose another 16 lbs by the end of August. So, all told I should be hitting 203 lbs by the time school starts up again the end of August.....Let's see how I do.
That's about it for now...sorry for the short entry today but you can blame it on school. Let's hope this career change is worth it....or at least worth eating that sausage sandwich!
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