I can already see how planning a wedding can drive you to drink, never mind eat. Over the last two days, I have done my fair share of both.
This is quite possibly the most stressful thing I have had to do in, oh, let's see - forever, and honestly, it's only because I am currently on a very skimpy, very sad, very unemployed budget. As the old saying goes, I have champagne taste but possess a meager beer wallet. And we're not even talking good beer.....I'd say my spending allowance at the moment might be on par with a Natural Light Wallet - or perhaps Pabst Blue Ribbon or Colt 45. It sucks. You have no idea just how much.
Being unemployed and going back to school has certainly put the kabash on any extravagant wedding ideas I was previously entertaining. Not that the wedding won't be RoJofabulous, but I'm realistic enough to know it won't be all that I envisioned. Notice I didn't say we? That's because Josh could give a rat's ass about all of this wedding planning hoopla. He just wants to get married and call it a day.
While I am by no means a bridezilla (yet), I still want to have my special day and make it a party to remember. That's not so wrong, is it?
Yesterday I spend the better part of the day online doing some research and e-mailing photographers and videographers and florists. It was rather enlightening because I found a few photographers that had shot weddings at Salero's and I wasn't overly impressed with the pictures and couldn't figure out why. Then it dawned on me. It was so damn bright in that place! Most of the shots looked like the wedding was taking place at 10 AM. Never mind the yellow and salmon colored walls which only add to that sun-shiny mid day at the beach feeling (could they make it any harder to have a pretty coordinated color scheme?). I realized yesterday that I never pictured having a daytime wedding. As a matter of fact when Josh and I got engaged back in December and had looked at the Lake Valhalla Club in all it's rustic glory, I was so taken in by it that I just KNEW that was where I was going to get married. It was perfect. Well, perfect that is, except for the price tag.
Salero's really isn't much cheaper when it's all budgeted out - especially when you factor in the decorations that I will have to do to take the focus off of the pastel explosion that is on the walls. Thank God sunset is at 6:25. That will mean only an hour and a half of full sun will be bright and beaming on those already bright and beaming walls.
All of this got me thinking yesterday about the Lake Valhalla Club again, with it's rustic charm and 2 huge stone fireplaces and top shelf bar and all the other things I loved about that place. Which got Josh thinking he may want to kill me. And he's right - I am being ridiculous about this. I need to pick a place, make up my mind and stick to it. The problem is, I have never been good at making up my mind. About anything. Why should planning a wedding be any different?
My issue of the moment (certainly guaranteed not to be the last issue I have regarding this momentous event) is the guest list, as that determines cost more than anything. The food is the hefty portion of the budget and while my sister could feed 208 people on $10,000 I can barely feed 95 for that. What a difference 10 years makes. It doesn't help that my dad is one of 13 so my family alone is the size of a small army. If robbing a bank wouldn't get me 20-life, I'd seriously consider it right about now.
As I was going over our budget yesterday, I figured if I reduced the number of people (even further than I already have), I could save a chunk of change. My problem is that I want to share this special day with the world. Come on, it's taken me long enough to get here! Once again, Josh and I are on two different pages when it comes to this whole thing. If he had it his way, we'd be walking across the street to the courthouse today and get hitched by the JOP and do this shit already.
King of Romance when it comes to this whole wedding thing, he's not.
I think I just need to take a deep breath and relax. The most important thing about the day is that Josh and I are getting hitched! I can't worry so much about the money because I know I will drive myself crazy. And probably chew my leg off in the process.
Speaking of which, in order to keep me focused (or get me focused I should say) on my weight loss, I have decided to keep a food journal. If I'm going to shovel microwave popcorn in my mouth like it's my job, I need to write it down. If I am going to inhale salt water taffy like it's calorie free, I need to write it down. I also need to start measuring things - not just eyeballing it, because I am pretty sure that half a london broil steak, no matter how thinly it's sliced, isn't one serving. I have no idea if this will help me see the errors of my ways, but I am willing to give it a shot.
I've promised myself I will start looking for dresses either in November or December so I have exactly 4-5 months to kick this ass into shape - preferably a shape that is not obscenely round and beach ball like.
Because no matter where I decide to get married, whether it's in front of a stone fireplace or on the beach? I still want to look thin and pretty. That is the ONE thing of which I am absolutely sure.
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