Jeez - time flies when you actually have a life! I just started school on Monday and already am finding that this one class could already be a good indicator of how you can easily fall off the wagon of weight loss if you are not careful. Tomorrow is weigh in day and while I am hoping and praying to the fat gods for the scale to dip below 227, only time will tell.
My weekend and beginning of the new week was a mixed bag - I stayed on course with the walking but it's the food that I have the real beef with (mmmm.....beef.....). If only I could motivate myself to write down everything I ate during the day I'd probably be in good shape and I know it would help me be more accountable for the hidden calories I am sure I consume throughout the day. I am not much for math so the thought of actually calculating out calories, although it's nothing more than simple addition, is like asking me to do calculus and so therefore I am not all that gung-ho to do it. Oh, and there have been "hidden" calories, of that I am sure. J is now fond of those crunchy Chinese ramen looking noodles to throw on top of a salad in lieu of croutons. I am not 100% sure which of them is the lesser evil, but I'd say the croutons are likely to do less damage since they are fat free and those little noodles, although low in calories, pack a bit of a fat wollop. Also adding some caloric heft to my "healthy salad" are those dang Craisins. I LOVE those in my salad - they are like crack and I find myself really missing them when their beautiful cranberry color is not dotted throughout my leafy greens.
Then there is the dressing to consider. No matter what I do I cannot wrap my head around most fat free versions of salad dressing and I'm not all that keen on trying to concoct my own tasty fat free versions because I am not so sure I'd be very good at it and end up dumping 8 lbs of Parmesan cheese on top of the salad just to compensate for the less than desirable dressing taste. I really love me some creamy style dressing and I have discovered that finding a comparable fat free version of one is like finding a needle in a hay stack. Fat free ranch? If I wanted skim milk on my salad I would have dumped it on there long ago so no thanks....
I also really enjoy almonds, avocado, corn and artichokes in my salad but I think if I indulged all of my salad fantasies, my once innocent little healthy dinner would end up costing me two days worth of calories so I do need to be mindful of that when layering on the fixin's.
Being in class from 5:30 to 8:30 two days a week has now presented the issue of dinner on those nights since I leave my place at about 3:00 or 3:30 and don't get home until 9:30. I'm usually not hungry before I leave but by the time I am half way through my class I am ready to eat one or two of my classmates and the sounds echoing from my stomach are more than a little, uh, embarrassing. We do get a mini break during the class and last night I was happy to see someone bust out a sandwich as opposed to hitting the vending machine. I guess that will be my strategy next week. I've been toting along some almonds in a zip lock baggie to much on and keep the belly rumbles at bay, but honestly, they don't quite do the trick and I get all that nutty junk stuck in my teeth which is more than a little gross. Unfortunately on Monday I was completely unprepared and ended up dining on a York Peppermint Patty and a bag of Pretzels - and while that combo is oddly delicious (and all told only 410 calories - I actually did the math on this one), you won't find it in any diet book as a suggested healthy meal option.
To add insult to injury, I should probably mention the crab dip, tortilla chips and 2 beers that happened to find their way into my mouth on Tues night at my favorite little outdoor patio bar. Don't worry - I already gave myself a stern talking to over that little calorie-fest....I promise it won't happen again any time soon.
The thing is, I'm going to have slips ups. I realize that now. My disappointment is that it happened so soon....
But hey, I can forgive, even if I can't forget. And what's more is, I shouldn't forget because I don't want these occurrences to become regular habits again. There are always going to be challenges thrown my way in terms of choosing the right foods. Sometimes I'll make fantastically good choices and sometimes I might not. I need to remind myself that the key is to be prepared for those situations where temptation may be present or where healthy food options just aren't available. This has been a struggle of mine forever and one that I truly need to focus on since I see the potential to do damage looming in the distance. Weight Watchers is famous for their motto - "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail" and I hate to admit that it really isn't just a crock of crap. Trust me - I've checked out the vending machine at school and it's pure evil inside that big box....about the only thing not chocked full of badness is the gum. Truthfully, I've had many moments of weakness in my past where I have relied on a vending machine lunch or dinner (sounds really appetizing, doesn't it?) but am determined to not fall into that trap again. (Which is why it's probably a good thing beer and crab dip aren't served in a vending machine or I might not be able to make such a bold statement).
As for the other million challenges that will come my way along this winding road of weight loss, I'll just have to deal with each one as they come. I'm not perfect and don't expect this process to be either. But with each weekly weight loss victory (fingers and toes crossed) I'll be that much more confident that this journey is worth taking and I myself am worth the effort of working hard and making these conscious decisions to do my body good....
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